When I minister to the Lord during a live broadcast, I am entirely dependent upon Holy Spirit to lead me. Apart from Him, I don't know how to worship or minister to the Lord. In any particular moment, I don't know what the Lord wants to hear from me, or what it is that will perfectly speak to His heart. Thankfully Holy Spirit does, and I only ever want to follow His leading; to declare audibly what He is whispering internally to my spirit.
Sometimes, after only five or ten minutes of audibly ministering to the Lord, Holy Spirit falls silent. And then I have a decision to make. Do I fill the silence with my own declarations because other people are listening, or do I embrace the silence that can't be explained and wait on the Lord to speak?
I have yet to go through a full hour broadcast without some amount of prolonged silence occurring. Sometimes the broadcast will come and go, and apart from opening prayer I don't say anything because Holy Spirit isn't speaking to me.
In that awkward on-air silence, I am learning to commune with Him. This requires active participation on my part; reaching out and maintaining that connection in the spirit while remaining still, listening and waiting on Him.
During one particular broadcast, I began to anxiously press into the Lord, nearly straining myself to listen for the slightest word, the slightest movement of Him deep in my spirit. Maybe if I pressed in even harder, He would finally speak? I felt weighed down by the task.
Suddenly, an upswell from Holy Spirit traded my fatigue for a joyful anticipation.
In that single act, Holy Spirit told me that waiting on the Lord with focused intentionality is supposed to be a joyful experience, not one of strain and weariness. I am truly meant to feel joy in my spirit as I wait upon the Lord. I can joyfully trust that He will speak, He will move, He will act, because He is good, He loves me, delights in me, and has wonderful things in store for me. I can wait upon the Lord with confident joy because of who He is.
For the rest of the hour, I silently rejoiced in the Lord (while joyfully waiting on Him, of course) because I had this newfound permission to rest and be at peace.
So now every time I do a live broadcast and Holy Spirit falls silent, I simply enter that place of stillness, of quiet confidence, knowing that the Lord is doing something fantastic, that He has wonderful thoughts towards me, and that I can rest in who He is as I wait on Him.
I worship Him with my waiting.
It is my hope that listeners choose to use these stretches of silence to commune with the Lord in their own way. We lift up our praise and worship to Him as one Church, one Bride, regardless of who is doing the talking or where we are in the world.
Waiting on Him with joy is an act of worship and a powerful way of ministering to His heart. It is also a beautiful place to rest.
There is joy in the waiting.
Photo by Wix Media.